ok i found the problem stupid jeep , apparently I needed to connect a wire that wasn't used on the last 2 decks (blue off the car side of the harness)  to a blue wire with the white strip that was connected to my remote wire from the amp.

So now I need to know can I splice the three wires together to get my speakers and sub working or is there some other wire that the remote wire needs to connect to

thank you

PS there should be a law that they are only allowed to make 5 different colors of wires. thats it . under penalty of death by being whipped with said wires